L Plates, a cheap veil and alcohol - it's hen party time!

Among the many rules of womanhood are the immortal words “thou shalt have a hen party and lo thou shalt be adorned with large L Plates, plastic veils and sashes emblazoned with the words ‘hens on tour’”.
This rule has been written in stone for years and now that I ready myself for my own hen party, I am starting to shudder at the thought of the huge amounts of pink and plastic that will be ceremoniously attached to my £1 bargain bucket veil.
A tacky hen party is a bride-to-be’s right of passage but unlike most women before me I have no idea what I will be doing for my final goodbye to being a singleton.
Because my two bridesmaids, Gemma and Aimee, have mischievously kept the whole event secret from me. I know the date of the hen but I have no clue where it is, what we are doing and who is coming.
This lack of information is making my over-active imagination kick into overdrive with all manner of embarrassing, humiliating and too saucy to mention ideas tumbling out of my mind.
“They are your best friends, they know what you like and what you don’t like, it will be fine,” soothes the logical side of my brain.
Whereas the irrational side is remembering the nightmare hen nights I have inflicted on brides before me.
Lets just say a “butler”, copious amounts of alcohol and a tiny apron that left little to the imagination all played prominent parts in my friend’s last night of freedom.
Oh dear, I think I will have to lay in the bed I have made for myself - fingers crossed there is no stripper- gram there waiting for me.
And instead of worrying about all the cringeworthy plans my friends have in store for me, I should just kick back, relax and enjoy myself because this is the only hen party I am ever going to have.
Yes, it may be full of cheap tacky costumes and yes, I may be dressed up in all manner of questionable attire but it is my one last hurrah before settling down as a married woman.
So to all those women who came before me, stood at the altar of corny hen nights and held up their hands shouting “let’s party”, I salute you.